Sometimes I feel like our life should be a sitcom. I feel like this past winter Murphy’s Law has been in effect for our family on a number of occasions. It seems like every time we tried to plan something social or have a weekend to be productive something absurd, bizarre of just annoying came up. I know that is life. If we don’t laugh about it, then what else can we do? Cry? (Sometimes yes.) I guess the best thing to do in these situations that are out of my control is to laugh at the randomness of it al. I really feel like our life could be a sitcom at times though. What would it be called?
“No sleep in the Suburbs”, “Everybody loves Peter (except Hayleigh who is a permanent fixture on her mother’s hip)”, “8 Simple Rules for Managing a High Maintenance One year old”, “The Big Bang Theory: the explosion of toys in my living room edition”, “Clueless” (that one just fits the way it is).
Okay, maybe I had too much fun with that. This is what happens when you have insomnia I guess.
All of the beauty and chaos in our lives lately got me thinking. First of all, I know I am being dramatic. Our lives could be so much more hectic. I only have two kids and I get to stay home. I am always torn between feeling guilty because sometimes I feel overwhelmed by what is on my plate and feeling confident enough to say that being a mom -stay at home, working or any combination of the two is just hard. I can’t stand when people act like they are the first people in the world to go through something. I know I am not the first person to have two kids and manage going to school. I don’t want to be the bum who whines about my “easy” life that I always dreamed of. But at the same time, just because I chose this life, dreamed of this life and would only want to live this life, doesn’t mean it is always rosy. I also can’t stand when people make others feel like their struggles are not valid because they could be going through something worse.
With all that being said, I had a bit of an epiphany about a wall quote to hang in our living room. I have been wanting to make a piece of wall art like this for a long time. I knew I wanted it to say “This is our happily ever after”. Since Peter and I started dating so young we dreamed of having a family together. And so really, in a very real sense, this is what we always dreamed of. I sometimes need to be reminded that right now, in this moment in time, I am living out what I always imagined and longed for. I need that perspective when I am surrounded by crying and whining, when I feel like poop because I didn’t sleep, am up against a deadline for school and haven’t had real adult interaction in too many days to count. It never fails, as I am feeling stressed and sorry for myself I stub my toy on one of the 300 thousand toys on our floor. I need to be able to look over to the wall to that reminder that , hey, you are one blessed lady. You are living your happily ever after.
(Yes, Braxton has feathers in his hair from our leaking down comforter…)
My epiphany came when I realized though that as wonderful as my life may be, those moments of chaos and stress and just plain pain are there for a purpose. (duh!) In a very real sense this is my happily ever after in that God has blessed me with wonderful earthly treasures and a beautiful life with my best friend. But at the same time I need to remember that this is not my home. I will not be really living out my happily ever after until I get to heaven. I also need that perspective in my life. I need to be reminded that the choices I make matter for eternity, that the pain in this life is fleeting, that I am made for more than this. I need to be reminded in my moments of frustration and inadequacy: this is not all there is; it gets better and in my moments of elation and fulfillment; this is not all there is; it gets better.
So I changed up the quote a little bit to read “This is (not) our happily ever after”. Because it is and it isn’t. And I need to be reminded of that. Now, I just need to get it up on the wall.